I get it, a lot of women like a man in uniform. And I also acknowledge up front, that the following comments will show major gender bias by talking like all firefighters are men. Lady flame destroyers- I acknowledge your great upper body strength and bomb ways. But I must continue.
After 9/11, all of America was in love with firefighters. Just the sight of an FDNY T-shirt brought tears to my eyes. They were the heroes. They rushed into the buildings. They were everything we needed in a confusing frightening time. Someone was going to try and save us.
A few weeks after 9/11 I was standing in a Barnes and Noble bookstore (you can tell it was a long time ago, since bookstores still existed) and three firefighters walked in. I lost my train of thought and just gaped as they walked by. And these were not calendar worthy shirtless studs. My mouth was hanging open for a middle aged balding man with a bit of a gut. In that moment, if he had made eye contact with me, I would have loaded him into my Radio Flyer and taken him home.
Here is another reason firefighters are the best. One night, when my dad was in his eighties, he got really sick. Over the course of a couple hours he became less coherent and disoriented. Finally, my mom and I decided to call 911. When you call 911 you are scared. When someone you love is having a medical emergency that you don’t understand, you are scared. And when three men show up at your door almost immediately and save your dad from falling into a diabetic coma- you want to put them in your Radio Flyer and carry them away in adoration.
Here are a few more reasons to love them. Before all this hipster nonsense took over, they were the only dudes in America still sporting Magnum PI type mustaches. And they owned it. And it still works. So everyone shut up. Also, they drive shiny red trucks that every kid loves. I still want go and play with a fire truck every time I see one, but I’m afraid that I’ll come off like a firefighter skank. Or whatever the terms is for firefighter groupies. Which I am not. I just admire them and always want to put them in my Radio Flyer and whisk them away.
Whenever there is a natural disaster, firefighters are there.
They jump out of planes to save nature and people.
They get there first when you call 911.
Plus they have pretty decent PR. I did just watch an episode of Lie To Me on Netflix that was all about firefighter hazing, but I’m still grateful and proud. Sort of in love. But not in a creepy way. Seriously.